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Seeing Behaviors as the Response
In the midst of the global crisis that is the pandemic COVID-19, I’m so grateful I can see behaviors through the lens of the stress response. Mine. And others. Otherwise, it would be pretty easy to...
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The Hub, The Rim, The Both And
“…Our mind can be pictured as a bicycle wheel, with the hub at the center and spokes radiating at the outer rim. The rim represents anything we can pay attention to or become aware of. The hub is the...
View ArticleSpace for us all to grieve
I needed to talk through what I was feeling about grief, privilege, and how the privileged will hold our grief…and everyone else’s. I really see no other way. But I couldn’t get my thoughts together....
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I’m worried about the therapists…and the invisible front-line
“I’m worried….” is not an uncommon statement to hear coming from my mouth. In the past year or so, I’ve been trying to really notice how often I start sentences with “I’m worried…” It’s been...
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Trauma Behavior? Or just acting up?
This is one of the most common questions I get…from both parents AND from other therapists. “I need to figure out…is this bad behavior just normal kid acting up behavior? Or is this behavior because...
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Regulated Connected Kids who Feel Safe Behave Well
No, really, they do. (We MAY have to adjust our definition of ‘behave well’ because we often have very inappropriate expectations for behaviors…but anyway….) Let’s break this down. Regulation. Without...
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All Of You…Come…
What if I told you all of you was welcome? I wanted to see…and know…every single part of you. The parts you loved yourself. The parts you were proud of. The parts that bring you delight. But...
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No Behavior is Maladaptive
There is no such thing as maladaptive. No. Behavior. Is. Maladaptive. Sure, there are LOTS of behaviors that have pretty big negative consequences…for ourselves and others. But the way the human mind...
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Depathologize Human Behavior. For Good.
I’m done with participating in a mental health system of pathology. In viewing human behavior through ANY lens except one that says “Based on your past experiences, your mind, your brain, and your...
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X-Ray Vision Parenting
Behavior is simply the externalization of internal experience. What we SEE on the outside is only a clue to what is happening on the inside. Facial expressions. Hand gestures. Big and small. HUGE...
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